2013年3月17日星期日

The crossing with flower blossoming


     It is time for the flower to blossom, which reminds me of the friends missing a lot. The memories feel fresh when touching the beat of my heart. In my best time, standing at the slope crossing with the reddish and golden sunset, I felt the affection scratching my heart. Hardly will I care what the youth have brought as well as it left. 
      As the time flow into the sea, we finally turn around and walk separately. Never will we have a port to stay together eternally, but there always exists a crossing I cherish most with flowers blossoming, just as magnificent as our friendship, existing the friends I valued most.   
      Perhaps not so many things are worthy of being  remembered, at least the period of memories are impressive enough to recall, no matter you, in the distance, have the same feelings. We share the obstacles on the way of growing up. And the moment I write down the song you have ever sung, it seems as we go back to that time we spend together with laughter.    
      At least, I have the crossing with flower blossoming in my head, accompanying by my best friends. Flowers bloom and wither. Sun rises and sets. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are lonely. But I really appreciate it that we had spent so many moment together.

     Just timing how long we haven’t seen, just picturing what you looks like, just dreaming to meet you at some time some place.   
     Get the days, feel the touching, activate the memories, and cheers for eternal friendship.   
     End up with three more words, I love you.

Something

       Life just like a mystery. You will never know what will happen next when you are at the corner.Just like someone walked into my life without any sign,rooting in my heart beyond anyone I have ever met. But if we do not say it, it will be left as a mystery.

      Unlike the river flow from the upper side with the restricted path,we are lucky to have the choice to choose our own path.It is your attitude that determines your aptitude.Never complain about life,just try to better yourself.Every today in life is the unseen tomorrow of the people passed away yesterday.Every today in life is the first day of your rest life. Learn to cherish whatever you have today,parents, friends,opportunities,jobs.
  
     Impulsiveness is not impulsive epitagh. But the world is becoming more and more  impulsive with its people are chasing money, power, utilitarianism.The main trend is swallowing every single of us,even the pioneers who insist being themselves at the very beginning.In another words, we are losing ourselves while following the main stream.I just get scared of losing myself  in this tendency, being swallowed be the invisible monster from society.And this reminds me of a classic movie V FOR VENDETTA. Everybody is V.

  

   What I am saying is just try to make the complex thing simple,make the simple thing deep,make the deep thing deeper.And most important of all, to be yourself. The world is far more simple than you assumed. And time will examine it.
       

2012年9月7日星期五

Something blocked my throat

    Something blocked my throat . 
    I want to scream, but there is no sound. 
    I want to breath but there is no air. 
    I want to run, but there is no strength. 
    I want to escape, but there is no way.
    ......
    Just let tears run down silently on my face when I was wondering the meander road alone in the dark night,letting the wind blows my face. The daylight in the day will never no the darkness of the night.
    
    Actually, I do not no why this normal letter will work like this, just like a launcher,push me into deepness. Maybe the word touches frangible nerves, and then comes the crowded thoughts---can neither cut down nor put away.
    
    Yeah...I am going through the most tough time in my university...Even I don't want to confess that,but I still need to face it and admit...And suddenly,when the time I read this letter my LCP write to me, I felt like that I am no longer myself. 
   
     Pressure digs a hole in my heart,and fill it with all kinds of expectations that i am afraid I cannot endure the failure to live up to the expectations.

     Always make high requirements for myself to make everything perfect, but it's really tough sometimes.

     Just too tired and want to rest for a moment...to think by myself without interference, and enjoy my time...These days, the most relax time is the time to spend with friends and chat with them...I just want more...
     Is that greedy?
     
     
     

2012年8月30日星期四

SEE OR NOT

No matter you see me or not
I am here
Not sad, Not happy

No matter you think about me or not
Yearning is here
Not coming, not going

No matter you love me or not
Love is here
Not increasing, not decreasing

No matter you come with me or not
My hand is in yours
Not aborting not abandoning

Come to my embrace
Or just let me to live into your heart
Speechless but love
Silent but be happy

2012年8月29日星期三

2012年8月18日星期六

Life is fresh here (4)

To Fajar
Hi, big bro….Sooooo many words I want to say to you….. That letter I gave you the last day is far from enough to express my feelings.
I want to say that you are not the guy I spent the most time together with in Indonesia, but maybe you are the people I miss most when I come back to China….Really….I mean what I say...
Actually, the first day I arrive Lisna’s house, Jerry had already told me that Lisna has a friend who would hang out with them before I arrive…And that night, in July 7th, still remember? It’s the first time I got access to you on Skype. And Jerry always said, “Fajar, you are so shy today?” And till now, I’m still wondering why? Is it because I am too quite?
Still remember the place I met you for the first time is in Manggarai Shelter. You were taking a taxi with Anna. And you were in blue T-shirt and Anna in yellow. Actually, it’s my first time to go to cinema with strangers as we just talked on Skype for one time. But I didn’t feel uncomfortable or scared. I think I supposed to be. But I don’t know why. I just thought I can trust you and I trusted you. And you proved to me that you are the person can be trust when I was in Indonesia. Maybe there’s something we called it YUANFEN in China, FATE in English.
The second time you met me maybe already is my last two weeks in Jarkata. According to this, the time we spent together is really limited. That day, my India friend missed our meeting in Grand Indonesia, and when I got bored the first person I want to search for is you……It just looks like you are the best friends I had in Indonesia…U will come to my mind easily. That day, we went to the typical architecture in Jakarta and the cathedral on the other side. We ate the traditional Indonesia Ice cream….And you took me to eat the food in your hometown from Padang….
Then my memories skipped sth and came to the night we spent together in Bogor. That day, we really talked a lot and had a meaningful night….We talked about our studying, our opinion, our country situation and a lot of things. And I think we found many same points after that night…
The day we saw Jerry off, I never think you will cry, because I always treat you as a happy person who will never get sad. And I can image the day after I leave, the situation….you and Lisna….But I don’t want to see it….And I think if I saw it, it will hurt your pride….

Fajar, you had already been my best friend in my life, no matter if I know your full name, no matter if you know my Chinese name, no matter how old you are, no matter how old I am, no matter whether you changed your glasses, no matter if you had changed your hair style or you want to change it, no matter how many days we spent together, no matter how much we had already known about each other….
I don’t know why. Actually, I seldom will trust somebody like you in such a short time except my teammates in AIESEC and I even couldn’t figure out the reason….
(And I even I have a question for u, in your opinion, am I an introverted or extroverted?)
I searched for the reason so many times, and finally it just falls in the memories, the happy ones..….every time,……
Still remember you like to look at me laughing without any reasons. And even I am not annoying with you, I still will pretend to ask you “Why are you laughing?”
Still remember the movie SPIDER MAN4 we watched together, the start of our beautiful friendship….
Still remember the taste of the lunch you bought for Jerry and me in that zoo, even I cannot remember the name of the zoo now. It’s really sweet for preparing it for us….
Still remember the bird shit fell down both dirty my hands and your T-shirt, quite embarrassed but unforgettable, I never experience this before…..
Miss the time we searching for Wifi, you downloaded all application for me like Facebook, twitter, foursquare and most important of all----What’s up…I am not sure whether I will use it frequently since I still do not know the way to skip the wall by phone, but I give you my words here:”I will never delete it and I will cherish my phone here” since this Android system has stored so many memories, laughter.
Miss the time I spent in Matrama shelter waiting for you to bring me to visit some places, even when I waited there for an hour. I will still desire to hang out with you, to enjoy my life there. Because I know, you will bring a different world to me.
Miss all the words below:
“Blair, where are you now?”
“Blair, check your belongings. ”
“Blair, let me use your phone, I really like it”
“Blair, how about us going to eat….blablabla”
“Blair, I want you to eat something from my hometown, It’s really delicious”
“Blair, I want to cry…”
“Blair, how about…”
“Blair, let’s take a picture…May I use your cemera?”
“Oh, you hurt my pride.”

These following words are coming out from my bottom of heart….
I know you are a good guy…I saw it from my eyes, small movement….Every time you passed the poor people, the disabled ones, I noticed that you will always give money to them…This charitable deed in daily life can reflect a person a lot….And you also remind Jerry and I to watch out our bags, to ask us to be careful….just like orlder brother…..I think your God will be proud of you….
I really appreciate it that you would like to spend time with me, to accompany me, to take care of me. And I hope that I am not lobay and not bring you much inconvenience as I always called you out to do something. And I’m sincerely hoping you will never get bored with me….Please…
Still remember I told you that I am the only child in my family? And you, dewi, kiki, fitri, Jerry gave me the feelings of family with brothers and sisters. I can say that never once in my life had experienced a relationship like this…So I really cherish it…I really miss it….And I really appreciate it….The time we spend together is really happy…
We had a lot of common point, as you send the message to me…It’s true…
We are the ones who will care our friends more than ourselves, even we need to go through fire and water. We are the ones who like to explore the world, to do something different to make the world better even if our strength is soooo small to change it, but at least we had tried, right? We are the ones who will listen to our parents’ advice, but we ourselves had something unsettled inside our heart…We are the ones who will keep a room inside and closed the door,I call it as self-esteem, in order to keep some secret ourselves, to hide our emotions, to bear the sadness ourselves, even when we look like strong and heartless….
So when that night you and Lisna waiting outside watching me to go inside of the airport…I do not know what’s the feeling of yours…But it’s really tough for me to say goodbye, to turn back, to go inside….You know what? Inside the airport I kept my head up for a long time, because that’s the only way, I can stop my tears running down. I know it will look stupid but I have no other choices, and I cannot help myself….At the time the airplane left the ground, I looked into Jakarta for the last time, and I did say goodbye to all of you, and I hope if you guys can feel it…..Stupid I am, right?
Bro, really miss you!!! So much!!!
But I know to leave is in order to meet next time , to have a happier meet again. And crying not always means sad, it can represent happiness and missing….you know after the rain there will exist rainbow, and that’s the most beautiful….
Please keep our promise, to meet again someday somewhere…I will also help to find a job in China if possible….
Meeting you, knowing you and missing you are the luckiest in my life so far….
And we both try hard to strive, to achieve, to enjoy,OK?
Just take care….

2012年8月17日星期五

Life is fresh here (3)

To Jerry:
I hope the English words will not make you confused since we can chat in Chinese. But to make the article consists I still want to make my words.
Actually, when I got the airport of Indonesia and Keval said I would live with a boy with Taiwan, I was really shocked. Because the last night I talked to him, he just reminded me to live with a person from Taiwan, not mentioning it’s a boy. And when I arrived Lisna’s house, I was more shocked because we live in the same room!!!!! I thought maybe we will have “unforgettable and embarrassed ” 40 days together……And that’s what I do not want….And you know there are many sensitive themes between China and Taiwan….
But actually, you are a very kind guy, I mean kindhearted and patient as I mentioned it in the airport. It’s really not normal to see a boy have this kind of patience to the kids and girls and to their mother, to accompany them to travel, to accompany them to play games, to accompany them to do many things even only girls will like it, for example doing shopping….Actually I’m really surprised and grateful that you can do all these things to the girls. I think I cannot do it if I was alone without any support because I really cannot make up my mind to do sth, just following the others, and maybe without you, I may just follow the other EPs and miss the beautiful life I had in Jakarta… I’m serious…..Really thank you …..
And it is you that take me to take angkok and transjakarta, and I can hardly think about that without u how can I survive the busy and messy traffic there in Jakarta!!!!! I really appreciate it...for taking care of me..
Now sitting in my studying room, I really miss the days to get up early to take the sahur to prepare fasting for the whole day. You are a strong-minded man, since everything you had already decided to do, you can make it.I really admire this personality in you and I want to learn it from you….
I really miss the days we just set the alarm clock but cannot get up at 3 o’clock, or I did get up at 3 but pressed down the alarm and fell asleep again, being regretting whole next day….
I really miss the days we wait for transjakarta soooo long that you kept shaking your heads with my doing nothing just complaining..
I really miss the days you were sitting under the hole of Lisna’s house, being afraid of the mouse jumping down from there…It’s really funny.
I really miss the days we are eating together, taking pictures of the food all the time, thinking Lisna’s father is really cute.
I really want to hear you 碎碎念, it’s really funny….and I almost get used to it….and cannot leave it….
We had many memories in that small room, talking about Olympics, chatting about the opinions, and preparing the lessons together and making some advice for both classes….and complaining again…about sth …blablabla….我相信,你懂我指的是什么的…..
I had some words for you,but I cannot express it in English….
在那间小屋里氤氲着我们共同的回忆
希望多年以后,回想起来
脑海里还是残留着蜂蜜的味道
这一段回忆对于我来说
点点滴滴的记忆
可能是一辈子的储蓄罐
希望你也可以珍藏
就像是一张旧的DVD
可以品味出别样的韵味
我相信,你是一个很棒的男孩
不久的将来,
你一定也可以找到一个别样的女孩
成为你的真命天女
每天的天空都有着同样的蓝天白云
可是,雅加达的天空下
我们几个曾经共同
呼吸过、笑过、哭过
一路走来,并不平淡
请记住我们和Fajar的约定
不管何时何地
一定如期赴约
一起去创造另一段别样的回忆
阳光总在风雨后
哭泣不一定代表着伤心
结束一段旅程意味着新的征途
未来的路,你一定可以走得很远很好
I believe
PS:这个和你写给我的相比,我好像显得微啰嗦。。。。可能文风对你来说也有点诡异。。。你就忍忍吧O(_)O哈哈~