Life is fresh here (4)

To Fajar

Hi, big bro….Sooooo many words I want to say to you….. That letter I gave you the last day is far from enough to express my feelings.

I want to say that you are not the guy I spent the most time together with in Indonesia, but maybe you are the people I miss most when I come back to China….Really….I mean what I say...

Actually, the first day I arrive Lisna’s house, Jerry had already told me that Lisna has a friend who would hang out with them before I arrive…And that night, in July 7^th, still remember? It’s the first time I got access to you on Skype. And Jerry always said, “Fajar, you are so shy today?” And till now, I’m still wondering why? Is it because I am too quite?

Still remember the place I met you for the first time is in Manggarai Shelter. You were taking a taxi with Anna. And you were in blue T-shirt and Anna in yellow. Actually, it’s my first time to go to cinema with strangers as we just talked on Skype for one time. But I didn’t feel uncomfortable or scared. I think I supposed to be. But I don’t know why. I just thought I can trust you and I trusted you. And you proved to me that you are the person can be trust when I was in Indonesia. Maybe there’s something we called it YUANFEN in China, FATE in English.

The second time you met me maybe already is my last two weeks in Jarkata. According to this, the time we spent together is really limited. That day, my India friend missed our meeting in Grand Indonesia, and when I got bored the first person I want to search for is you……It just looks like you are the best friends I had in Indonesia…U will come to my mind easily. That day, we went to the typical architecture in Jakarta and the cathedral on the other side. We ate the traditional Indonesia Ice cream….And you took me to eat the food in your hometown from Padang….

Then my memories skipped sth and came to the night we spent together in Bogor. That day, we really talked a lot and had a meaningful night….We talked about our studying, our opinion, our country situation and a lot of things. And I think we found many same points after that night…

The day we saw Jerry off, I never think you will cry, because I always treat you as a happy person who will never get sad. And I can image the day after I leave, the situation….you and Lisna….But I don’t want to see it….And I think if I saw it, it will hurt your pride….

Fajar, you had already been my best friend in my life, no matter if I know your full name, no matter if you know my Chinese name, no matter how old you are, no matter how old I am, no matter whether you changed your glasses, no matter if you had changed your hair style or you want to change it, no matter how many days we spent together, no matter how much we had already known about each other….

I don’t know why. Actually, I seldom will trust somebody like you in such a short time except my teammates in AIESEC and I even couldn’t figure out the reason….

(And I even I have a question for u, in your opinion, am I an introverted or extroverted?)

I searched for the reason so many times, and finally it just falls in the memories, the happy ones..….every time,……

Still remember you like to look at me laughing without any reasons. And even I am not annoying with you, I still will pretend to ask you “Why are you laughing?”

Still remember the movie SPIDER MAN4 we watched together, the start of our beautiful friendship….

Still remember the taste of the lunch you bought for Jerry and me in that zoo, even I cannot remember the name of the zoo now. It’s really sweet for preparing it for us….

Still remember the bird shit fell down both dirty my hands and your T-shirt, quite embarrassed but unforgettable, I never experience this before…..

Miss the time we searching for Wifi, you downloaded all application for me like Facebook, twitter, foursquare and most important of all----What’s up…I am not sure whether I will use it frequently since I still do not know the way to skip the wall by phone, but I give you my words here:”I will never delete it and I will cherish my phone here” since this Android system has stored so many memories, laughter.

Miss the time I spent in Matrama shelter waiting for you to bring me to visit some places, even when I waited there for an hour. I will still desire to hang out with you, to enjoy my life there. Because I know, you will bring a different world to me.

Miss all the words below:

“Blair, where are you now?”

“Blair, check your belongings. ”

“Blair, let me use your phone, I really like it”

“Blair, how about us going to eat….blablabla”

“Blair, I want you to eat something from my hometown, It’s really delicious”

“Blair, I want to cry…”

“Blair, how about…”

“Blair, let’s take a picture…May I use your cemera?”

“Oh, you hurt my pride.”

These following words are coming out from my bottom of heart….

I know you are a good guy…I saw it from my eyes, small movement….Every time you passed the poor people, the disabled ones, I noticed that you will always give money to them…This charitable deed in daily life can reflect a person a lot….And you also remind Jerry and I to watch out our bags, to ask us to be careful….just like orlder brother…..I think your God will be proud of you….

I really appreciate it that you would like to spend time with me, to accompany me, to take care of me. And I hope that I am not lobay and not bring you much inconvenience as I always called you out to do something. And I’m sincerely hoping you will never get bored with me….Please…

Still remember I told you that I am the only child in my family? And you, dewi, kiki, fitri, Jerry gave me the feelings of family with brothers and sisters. I can say that never once in my life had experienced a relationship like this…So I really cherish it…I really miss it….And I really appreciate it….The time we spend together is really happy…

We had a lot of common point, as you send the message to me…It’s true…

We are the ones who will care our friends more than ourselves, even we need to go through fire and water. We are the ones who like to explore the world, to do something different to make the world better even if our strength is soooo small to change it, but at least we had tried, right? We are the ones who will listen to our parents’ advice, but we ourselves had something unsettled inside our heart…We are the ones who will keep a room inside and closed the door,I call it as self-esteem, in order to keep some secret ourselves, to hide our emotions, to bear the sadness ourselves, even when we look like strong and heartless….

So when that night you and Lisna waiting outside watching me to go inside of the airport…I do not know what’s the feeling of yours…But it’s really tough for me to say goodbye, to turn back, to go inside….You know what? Inside the airport I kept my head up for a long time, because that’s the only way, I can stop my tears running down. I know it will look stupid but I have no other choices, and I cannot help myself….At the time the airplane left the ground, I looked into Jakarta for the last time, and I did say goodbye to all of you, and I hope if you guys can feel it…..Stupid I am, right?

Bro, really miss you!!! So much!!!

But I know to leave is in order to meet next time , to have a happier meet again. And crying not always means sad, it can represent happiness and missing….you know after the rain there will exist rainbow, and that’s the most beautiful….

Please keep our promise, to meet again someday somewhere…I will also help to find a job in China if possible….

Meeting you, knowing you and missing you are the luckiest in my life so far….

And we both try hard to strive, to achieve, to enjoy,OK?

Just take care….